Oh sweetheart. I don't know what to say, so I won't say much so I don't say something dumb. But, you are your own person, and we all have different trials. It's not you sister's place to tell you off, and it's not your place to judge her. I proud of you that you can admit your faults, and I know how hard it is for you to break out of yourself and meet new people.
PS- getting a job sucks. I've slept four hours in the past 24, and I'm going in twenty minutes to work an 8 hour shift. So don't rush it. It's not worth the heartache.
a quote for you, "Ah, but look, this one is late. But I'll bet, that when it blooms, it will be... the most beautiful of all."